Chicago House Classics

''This page is about the artist. For the genre, consider the following: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE CDIE DIE DEINDIEN DIEN DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE''

BIOGRAPHY
Chicago House Classics is an individual of esteem and renown from the island of compass (the lil compass you see on world maps sometimes) who has been making absolutely quality albums since forever. After inventing the genre Chicago House in 1932 with the help of Karl Heinz Tomato Ketchup Stockhausen, Chicago House Classics decided to reinvent the sound by making something completely unrelated to chicago house. She waited until 2020 before releasing her first album, "The Third Cumming", on the label Vortex of Crap, after attempting to revive it via electronic shocks of up to 7,000,000 amps and fifty trillion volts. After a few failed releases on the label that nobody cared about because VoC had died, Chicago House Classics decided that maybe branching out into a different label would be a better idea because nobody cared about VoC anymore and honestly good tbh.

ARRIVAL ON ABSOLUTE TRASH MEDIA
While CHC was pondering where to release her new absolutely quality album "I Vetoed Human Rights", Whopper Millionare astrally projected into her bedroom and released Cum 0 all over CHC's wall that spelled out "please releasew on my label i fuckin g beg you holy shitttt".

RELEASES
(This section contains info on VoC albums as well as the ATM albums, to give a complete picture.)

THE CHICAGO HOUSE CLASSICS PRESENTS SERIES
This is the initial run of Chicago House Classics albums that all follow a naming scheme of each album being presented by CHC, in an attempt to make them seem more professional. For some reason, Chicago House Classics stopped this with the release of Mrs Onfire on May 18th, 2020. Rather notably, Pissile Launcher saw CHC drop the album art motif of using existing chicago house compilation album artwork and editing it. Pissile Launcher was also released a few days after Mrs Onfire, but is considered part of this series instead.
 * The Third Cumming
 * Immanuel Kant's Pornhub Account
 * I Vetoed Human Rights
 * The Groove Toilet
 * Too Fucking Stupid
 * Pissile Launcher

POST "PRESENTS" ALBUMS
Starting with the release of Mrs Onfire, Chicago House Classics has been releasing albums without the 'Chicago House Classics Presents:' prefix (with the exception of Pissile Launcher)
 * Mrs Onfire
 * The Of of And
 * Doctor Who & The Terrible Album
 * The Dennis of Menace
 * Cum 9
 * Explain why only PREGNANT WOMEN can have abortions but no other woman can. Explain.
 * Targeted Harassment Album
 * Numercial Anal
 * I HATE PYTHAGORAS (Coming Soon)
 * Pognitive Dissonance/Smega Drive (Coming Soon)
 * Absolute Nonsense Reloaded (Coming Soon)

THE ALPHABET SERIES
A series of EPs themed after the alphabet, in an attempt to teach the other members of absolute trash media how to speak, read and write.

They currently only go up to I i think

OUTLOOK
It's gonna be okay. It's all going to be okay. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call NHS on 111, or dial 999 for an officer of the law.