The NHS

You may be looking for the real life establishment of the same name. If so, I pity you.

The NHS is a mythical organisation dedicated to the health and wellbeing of citizens of the Un-united Kingdom.

Creation
The NHS was formed by Woman Who Has Hurt Knee Esquire as an attempt to finally get some help for his injured knee. Started in the year 2016, it has since failed to help pretty much anyone who has saught help from them.

alQasnnot
The NHS's most famous and well known feat is the halt of misinformation spread by known priest of healing alQasnnot who claimed that you could rub shit into your open wound to heal it. The NHS immediately was flooded with people who were all suffering from sepsis, most notably Man Who Has Acquired Sepsis Esquire, who shortly died after being admitted to the NHS, because being admitted to the NHS is basically a fucking death sentence. To stop their centers from being overwhelmed, the current leader of the NHS, Dennis the Menace, put out a statement about the real effects of rubbing excrement into injuries, as this causes sepsis. Nobody listened and the NHS nearly went bankrupt before the entire population of Wales finally succumbed to sepsis, thus easing up capacity.

The Destruction of the NHS
The NHS, after nearly being bankrupted by sepsis, was on death's door, but it would take a push from the world's literally most stupidest most fucking biggest clown of all time, Boris 'the fridge' Johnson, prime minister of the United Kingdom, to send it screaming over the edge. After finally convincing the population of the UK to leave the EU and sink itself into the pissing ocean with claims that the NHS would finally double it's funding from £1 to £2, Boris 'dumpster cheeseburger' Johnson shat and pissed and cummed and decided to reduce the NHS's funding from £1 to 70p, just so Boris could get an extra 30p for a pack of haribo, and the NHS quickly filed for bankrupcy, and then filed for murder, and then committed sep poo koo. fuck off

The New NHS
In very late 2020, the NHS reformed as a secret organisation from behind the scenes with a number of members dedicated to the destruction of all life so they can stop having to provide healthcare to people. The leader, Woman Who Has Hurt Knee Esquire, was cursed with having to constantly provide healthcare to people no matter what, and is very tired of this, and so formed the new NHS to take out all life.

The Odysseus of Shitcore stumbled upon this plan late by accident and was immediately taken prisoner by the NHS and is currently being held prisoner. A plan is being drawn up to rescue TOoS but it is unknown how it will be done.

List of old NHS Chairpeople
In order:
 * Woman Who Has Hurt Knee Esquire
 * God
 * Das Placenta (for three hours)
 * Dennis The Menace

List of The NHS members

 * Woman Who Has Hurt Knee Esquire
 * Dennis The Menace
 * Cummond
 * Anti-Horace
 * Castratix & The Eunuchs Supreme
 * 2020 Final Artist